Emotions and Getting Off Track

Sunday, August 17, 2014
Recently I haven't been paying too much attention to our spending. We have been mostly adhering to our budget but not really strictly following it. I think it's mostly because I feel like we're never going to make any progress so why bother. I'm just tired of it, I want our student loans to just be gone.

 I know the real reason I'm feeling like this is because I'm still pretty depressed from the loss of our baby. I don't feel like I'm going to be able to really start healing until the due date passes. We were also hoping to be pregnant again by the time our due date gets here but as of now that hasn't happened yet.

 So because I'm feeling depressed if I feel like something will make me feel better then I will go ahead and buy it. New foundation? Maybe that will make me feel better. No? What about these jeans? Still not working? Maybe if I do this I'll feel better.

 So far the only thing that has really reduced my stress and made me feel actually happy was going on vacation. We spent most of our days snorkeling and it was so relaxing. Too bad I can't do that every day!

 We've still been making more than our minimum payments on our loans but we definitely aren't putting as much toward them as we could be.

 I feel like if our debt free date was closer I would have more motivation. I'm just tired of not getting anywhere. I'm angry that without student loans we would be able to save about $20,000/year. It's just all very frustrating.

 We threw an $1,100 snowball at SallieMae today. That felt nice.

Off to write a happier post. I'm really not as miserable as this is making me sound, I'm just really frustrated right now.


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